I was on Skype to my very dear friend at midnight (my time zone) and she wished me into the 24th year of my life with all of her love and I felt it. We also talked about me going to therapy because you know, my mental health is still a thing even on my birthday.
I woke to some very nice messages from my Aussie people who had been in the day of my birthday a lot longer than I had.
Twitter puts balloons over your timeline when it’s your birthday and this is nice but also very distracting for my eyes when I’m just trying to copy something you know? I’m kind of midway between needing glasses and not so conditions really need to be just right for my eyes to be happy.
Anyway, this is what I was looking for, this is very good. I hope I can write this accurately about my experience when I’m ready:
Grooved to this at my desk today, and all this week really:
Today, for those of you who didn’t know, was also Ed Balls Day. I started this morning listening to the BBC Women’s Hour podcast with Chetna (GBBO) - they talked about the Baked Alaska-gate and Jenny concluded: ‘other countries are available, but given the choice, I’d always choose Britain’.
This week it could easily look like our political system is a little broken, and very ready to make economic and social inequality much worse. Then social media spends an entire day celebrating that a politician accidentally tweeted their own name and I just feel so much warmth and joy for my home country and the people in it.
Also this because you know, if there’s a day for this song, it’s your birthday:
I like to think your birthday exists as a 24-hour reminder of how loved you are. That’s what it always feels like to me and I only have positive memories of the day. My Timehop tells me that I describe the day as ‘perfect’ every year. As someone whose mental health issues typically demonstrate themselves as a neuroses about no-one liking me, well, I can’t think of a healthier day to have than one where you’re constantly being told that you’re valued and cared for.
This continued all day, I felt it all afternoon and through the evening as I sat around the table with people who have only known me a month and still took it upon themselves to celebrate today with me. I felt it when I got home and the people I live with told me we would celebrate tomorrow too. I am overwhelmingly grateful and I feel lucky to an extent I can barely express. Maybe every year has been like this, maybe I’m just in a better position to be able to properly feel all of that now.
I was filled with love all day and all weekend after that. I am always filled with and surrounded by so much love. I am slowly learning to accept that and revel in it. They say if you ignore your critics, you have to ignore the people who praise you too, but that sounds awfully boring and ambivalent to me. So I hear all the love you send me, I see you, I believe you, I love you just as much right back, and I hope you believe me too.
Happy Birthday to me.
