Someone is going to need to explain to me where the last 6 months have gone because I don't think they were long enough. This time around I'm going to update you in the form of the questions we devised to help people sum up their time in Jordan. A lot of my friends have come and gone whilst I've been here, this is the best way I've found to work out how everyone feels about their time, no matter how long they were here.
I also feel the need to prepare for these questions when I get asked them for real when I leave in 2 months time. Call this Answers V.1, if you will.
She works in tech now she thinks she can talk like that.
Best moment?
Oh there have been so many. Go to my Instagram feed for the travelling abroad highlights but my favourite moments are the ones I can't quite remember. I remember laughing until I cried a thousand times, and I can only exactly recall what half of those times were about.
The times I 'got' Arabic and it was like I'd unlocked some secret way to make stuff happen in my daily life. Everyone helping me celebrate my birthday even though I'd only been here a month and they had no obligation to. Meeting the eyes of my colleague on the opposite desk at the perfect time. Waking up to the very first time we had pancakes on a Friday morning. Every Friday morning since then. Spending an entire day by a pool reading Eat Pray Love (look I wrote about that too). The time I left my debit card in an ATM and then the people at the bank said I could have it back even though it should have been destroyed because I'm an idiot. The wedding. Every iftar I got to share with someone. Every time someone asked me to hang out, called me their friend, or part of their family.
And also, this hat.
Worst moment?
The month I went home. Really.
A disclaimer is necessary here that says of course I had an absolutely wonderful time visiting my friends, and catching up with everyone, and seeing my family. You are all a blessing and I would be nowhere without you. Graduation was also a personal highlight, not just of this year, but of my life.
Here I am trying to work out if I can survive being strangled by my hood for the next 3 hours.
Do not forget safety pins, kids.
I just felt awful though, the entire time. I couldn't enjoy myself and everyone knew it (thank you for having me anyway, and thank you for telling me you love me, anyway). I essentially panicked about how little I'd done, how unsuccessful I was, and then did nothing to remedy it because I was so convinced that it was too late. At the tender age of 24, I was convinced I had completely fucked it, essentially.
This also might seem strange considering I made the decision to leave in 2 months time to permanently go home after just describing it as the worst part of the last 6 months. There is a difference between something being difficult and it not being right. Going home permanently is also very different to taking a small break and finding that suddenly being at home just reminds you of how much you still have left to work out. Going home for good means having to work all that out, there are things that need to keep moving and plans I need to make and it's near impossible to do most of that from all the way over here (because most of these things require me to be in physical places that are not here). I am prepared for it this time, at least.
Oh, and the camel ride.
This is actually a cry for help. I'm saying 'Help, my camel is trying to kill me'.
What did you learn about yourself?
I'm really, honestly, the luckiest person on earth.
When is she going to stop talking about how lucky she is?
NEVER. OR when all my friends become sick of me, and I don't have any left and therefore, my luck has run out.
I once heard someone chat some absolute bollocks about how you can't have a real 'experience' if you talk to your friends from home all the time. 6 months of my life is not an experience. This is not a yoga retreat. This is my life and every moment of it is as much as an 'experience' as it has ever been. Last week I had a migraine for approximately 4 of the 7 days, life doesn't stop and the bad days are just as monotonous and shit as they were anywhere else. My friends have bad days too and they don't want to hear any shit about me 'finding myself' or having an 'authentic experience' - they want me to call them and send them pictures of dogs in clothes.
True happiness is a dog dressed as a bee.
Source: Etsy
Among that, some other things: The older I get the more able I am to just accept love for what it is, just let the people around me adore me and support me because they want to. I enjoy myself much more readily, I laugh more and I really mean it. I am an extrovert, straight up, and I love that. Denying how much I love being around people and making them laugh is just pointless, and embracing it certainly doesn't make me any less intelligent or worthy of respect.
Here are some other things that happened:
- I went to a belly-dancing class and I was exactly as good as you would expect me to be.
- I went on a 3-day break to Aqaba and sent everyone who has me on Snapchat approximately 1000 photos of me sunbathing.
- It's @clairegillesp and I can't promise that won't happen again.
- I am singnificantly less annoyed by the cats than the last time we did this (See: 1 Month in Amman).
- Our house cat disappeared while I was at home. This is not linked to the last point I swear.
- I became that person who does yoga, and then does yoga poses in every photo with a nice landscape.
- Also, that person who dances in their chair and lip syncs to songs while they're working. Who knows if anyone has noticed, they've been good enough not to tell me to stop.
- Unfortunately, also that person who only finds stains on their clothes after they got to work. Adult life is hard y'all.
- My friends have their own year abroad blog and it's really good. You should read it here.
- And finally, I fell in love with Usher and/or his stylist on the No Limit video.
Confused about whether I want to date him or just steal his clothes.
Source: justjared
Until next time babes. xx
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