This week was quiet, so this is going to be very brief. I have loved it though to be honest, having spent most of it either writing or in very good company indeed. I’ve spent a lot of it working, on various different things, talking to interesting people on Skype. It always baffles me the things people suggest I could do as I get older. It baffles me even more that I refuse to accept any of this is legitimate even though I would be the first to say I had worked incredibly hard for the past six years to get to this point.
It also never ceases to frustrate me that I can still hear and see the exact moment someone told me they couldn’t imagine me ever giving a lecture, like someone painted those words on the inside of my brain and I can’t remove them. I would say that having a very good memory for conversation is an excellent way to torture yourself. I joke about being old, but thank God I am. 18 year old me had neither the faultless confidence of teenage me or the critical analysis of mid-twenties me. She was pushed and pulled by everyone else’s commentary and when I think of what she did for the sake of other people’s opinions skin feels like it might leave my body.
More actual ‘content’ is coming, it’s just not quite ready to be announced yet and until it’s there or taking place I’m not sure I’ll be convinced I can actually do it. So until then…
Here is something I wrote a while ago about giving credit to that teenage girl with absolutely awful hair and a very questionable dress sense: A Love Letter To My Teenage Self
Also here’s an interview I did with Pretty Green Tea about my MA year, in which I talk about changing subject, and also how important it is to be able to receive love and support. Only I could turn a perfectly standard Q & A into an emotional life-lesson, I know:
I could have done a whole post on this breakfast but no one wants that apart from me.
Usually we would describe weeks like this as normal and routine, but that isn’t fair. I still can’t get Facebook Memories, because for some reason I’ve been chosen to be one of the last people on earth to be able to post cute pictures of their friends from that random night out four years ago. I do have Timehop though, and it’s serving as a very good reminder to exactly how much I would have chopped off my arm to have a week like this a year ago.
Good things I’ve seen this week:
Fab.
My fourth one would be learn to trust that people love and care about you.
Am I allowed to give advice to do things I can’t do? Well if not it's too late now.
I am behind and listening to them wildly out of order I know, but this week I listened to Emma Gannon’s podcast Ctrl Alt Delete with Cariad Lloyd and it was very, very good.
xx
I’m on Twitter - @clairegillesp - where I’ve been raving about how much I love Rosie from Made in Chelsea. She just gets more badass and no-nonsense with every series and also she dresses the way I would if I were a willowy jewellery designer from Chelsea and not a slightly out of proportion (it’s the legs) writer/historian/other from Leeds.
I’m on Instagram - clairegillesp - where this week I used the phrase ‘sweetest little egg’ because I felt like trying my hand at being adorable.
This week I’ve been listening to ‘Sunday Morning’ by Maroon 5 because it is my favourite song in the way that something can only be when you loved it when you first heard it at 11 and it remains my only enduring request for music on my wedding day.
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